Grace Happens

What is grace? 

 

I grew up in many different churches throughout my home community. Most were non-denominational and very mainstream conservative Christian. We were taught that the world was created in 6 days. We were taught that Adam and Eve sinned and were thrown from the Garden of Eden. We memorized Bible verses and garnered skills as reigning Bible Sword champions. We knew Abraham had many sons and we were one of them, so let’s keep marching on, left foot, right foot. We attended church Sunday’s, Wednesday’s and any other time there was an event or gathering. We ate countless servings of deliciousness at potlucks and holiday meals.

But in all that time, what life lessons did we learn that have remained steadfast and true as adults?

One specific memory I have is that of a Sunday school session in the young adult house at Bethel Temple where the teacher asked us what we though defined the word grace. She said to remember that GRACE is: God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. That has remained in my head some 25 years later.

I was born a Christian. Came out of my mother’s womb that way and I was satisfied maintaining that element of my very being, who I was and why I existed. My father was in ministry for as long as I can remember as a Bible study teacher, a Sunday school teacher, a preacher, a healer, a deacon, a prayer warrior; therefore, my family was also in ministry by default. It was natural. It was normal. It was happy….relatively.

In all that time and in all those amazing houses of worship and among the most amazing group of people you could ever meet, there was one thing missing. Grace. From what I could see from a child’s perspective is that grace is a cotton candy word to hide judgement, condemnation, punishment, being unloved. We were taught that God loved everyone, even rapists and murders and he forgives all who confess their sins and accept Jesus in to their hearts; however, when a women would announce she was finally leaving an abusive husband after he began beating on her children, she was shunned and told repeatedly how God hates divorce and it would make her a whore and an adulteress. (I use that example because I have seen that one time and time and time again)

As I aged and as I had experiences on my own, separate from my Church world, I began to question elements of my belief system and question the very basic nature of the religion I was striving to maintain. This time of questioning, and eventually doubt, was terrifying and confusing. I felt so alone and I did not know who to turn to. The very source of my comfort and strength was turning on me during my times of questioning, exploration and living - that was the most painful thing to have ever experienced in my life to that point.

As with all things in life, one step on your journey will always lead you to the next step and when God is in the equation, it’s a fascinating path. That doesn’t mean it’s easy or comfortable or fun - most of the times when you are going through the fire of being broken and a time of trials, it’s a hell of an experience filled with much tears and confusion and even fear despite our knowledge that God never leaves our side.

I’d like to use this aspect of technology to share a bit of my journey and maybe even to help others understand the dynamics of communicating with friends and family that are either not of the Church at all or who have left the Church due to some circumstance. Or maybe you may still be in the Church but are struggling with some basic human elements that seem to have disappeared when it comes to Christian fellowship and brotherhood.

This is a place of safety, non-judgement, respect, tolerance, love and GRACE. Please respect my experience and the experiences of others by learning to read/listen with an open heart and mind and always remember that an individuals hurts and pain are very real to them and very relevant to their very being. Never discount someone’s opinion or experience - you have not lived in their shoes.

I would prefer to leave politics out of this site completely - it is NOT relevant to the topic at hand.

As far as my own personal belief system, I do believe that there is a God. I believe that He exists and that He is up there somewhere helping us out on this journey. I have experienced WAY TOO MANY amazing things to ever, ever, ever doubt His existence. Do I believe in God as I was taught to believe in God? No, in many ways I do not. I do not believe that Jesus was the son of God; however, I do believe in the Holy Spirit. That is a HUGE source of contention among myself and a lot of folks that I love dearly, but again, this is my experience and my belief.

I believe in the Bible as a tool to holiness and righteous living, but I do not take the collection as a whole as a literal set of rule and regulations that one must live by to even think of getting in to Heaven. There are so many amazing things in there and what a wonderful source of comfort and hope - but so much of it has been abused and misused it has lost that touch of sincerity. I do utilize Scripture often. They are amazing words of life and hope when used in the proper context and used with love and grace.

I believe in prayer, but I will admit that I do not pray often. I communicate with God all day long, but I do not spend much one on one time in prayer unless someone specifically asks me to. And even then, I get uncomfortable in that but I will do it out of love for that person and out of belief that God is intimately aware of that situation and He is not at all surprised by one’s present situation or the outcome down the line (thank Andrea Render for that quote - I have thought of it NON stop since she posted it on Facebook recently).

There are SO many issues that are very important to me that are often considered outright sin and perversion. I struggled with that for years, but after that time and after much self reflection and examination, I am okay with that. I believe what I believe because I have researched, analyzed and taken it apart to the hundreth degree; however, if you come along with updated info and a more in depth perspective, you better believe I will listen and reevaluate.


** How do you define grace? **