Light of the World

Some of my earliest memories take place in the first church I remember attending. At that time, in the late 70s and early 80s, it was called Light of the World (Christian) Fellowship. It began in a barn out on Pollack Road and was filled with the most amazing Jesus Hippies ever. My memories don't begin until the fellowship was relocated to an old monastery on Jefferson and Evans. The enormous (from a child's perspective) stone building was a schmorgesbored of nooks, crannies, a creepy basement and stair ways. It had a very distinct smell - one I can't even describe - and was comforting despite the cold temperatures in the winter and hot in the summer.

I am blessed to have several folks in my life today that I met as a wee babe in that very building and even one that used to chase me through the building terrorizing me and pulling my hair.

When I think of days gone by and the experiences I have had in the many churches I have attended, I always look back at my time at Light of the World, and later on Calvary Chapel, with the fondest of memories.

I can remember sitting in the sanctuary on Sunday mornings and staring at the stained glass window as I listened to Steve and Charlotte singing the most beautiful praise and worship music I have ever heard. Even at that early age, I thought that this must be one of the things in life that gives us a glimpse of heaven. The light, the colors, the music, the singing, the joy of those around me. Precious.

I remember listening to Chuck's voice and his words and watching him up there as he made eye contact with everyone and as he looked upon the congregation with a constant flicker of a smile on his face. I used to think he embodied a safe and sheltering shepherd. I remember him discussing the story of the lost sheep and how the shepherd will search high and low for that one sheep and when he finds it, he will carry the wounded sheep back to the flock on his shoulders.

In later years when I would hear that story again, the focus was always on the breaking of the sheep's leg and the brokenness that is comforted by the shepherds presence. I always reflected back that I liked Chuck's version better. Yes, it spoke of the necessary brokenness as creating an even great need for the shepherds guidance, but more importantly he focused on what the shepherd might be saying to the sheep on the way back. What might he question? Why did you leave the flock all by yourself? Why did you go over that hill by yourself? Didn't you see the ledge before you slipped? What would have happened if I didn't find you before it got dark, or started raining or you were found by a wolf?
 Why don't you listen to me?

Later on in life I spent some time as a sexual assault advocate for a local shelter. I took a call from a young woman who felt so incredibly broken that her entire being was crying out. As a rule, you do not discuss religious aspects with clients, but in that moment, I knew that I had to tell her that parable. I had to assure her that her shepherd was there looking for her and that he was going to take her on to his shoulders and bring her back to safety. He will tend her wounds and he will give her shelter.

While she may not have cried out for brokenness, as was typically the message in sermons, life brought her to her knees and to a place of utter destruction. This sheep didn't wander, this sheep was snatched away from under the sheep dog's nose. 

I don't know if that helped her or not. I never spoke with her again, but I hope that it did. And I hope that she was able to pass that message on to someone some day.

I would never have thought that a message I heard as a youngster, I'd say 7 or 8, would have stuck with me through all these years, but even now I think of that passage as I read and hear about life's hurdles in the lives of those I love and care about.

I've been through my own times of brokenness and I have learned to appreciate them as a treasure, not as a burden. Those times are when you are forced to stop and take a look at your surroundings. Where am I? How did I get here? What should I do? Can I do this on  my own? Help!!!!! It is in those moments that I find myself seeking the shepherd and clinging to his staff.

With brokenness can come permanent destruction and ruin or it can be a time of recovery and reflection gaining a new perspective and appreciation for the safely of the flock and the guidance of the shepherd.